Look, it’s no secret that I hate the Patriots. I absolutely can’t stand them. I respect them, cause they always win. But, I fucking hate the Patriots. All I can remember about football in my life more or less, has been the Patriots winning.
With how much they have won since 2002, I should just be used to them being on top of the sports world. I really should, I have to at least admit to that. But for whatever reason, seeing them celebrate during the parade today made me absolutely miserable. Like nails on the chalk board miserable.
Nothing is a more harsh reminder of how terrible my life as a sports fan is, than a championship parade. The Rangers, Cowboys, and Thunder are typically huge let downs. In fact, it is so bad that a few weeks ago, a friend who constantly clowns on me. Realized I hadn’t ever had a team win anything. And he legitimately felt bad for me…
That’s how you know almost nothing good comes from being fan of the teams that I’m a fan of. When your actual friends start to pity you…well, that’s fucking rough. If that isn’t rock bottom, I don’t want to know what is. Can I just once, just once! Get one of my teams to win a championship! One time! One time, is all I’m asking. I wish I could remember the cowboys being good. That just isn’t on the table. I was way too young to remember it.
Like wherever the New England fans sold their souls, I wanna go there and make a deal. I’m sure Howie Mandel will still be the host and can help me make a sweet deal…It can’t be as bad as being a fan of the Rangers, Cowboys, and Thunder. That is a self inflicted living hell I don’t wish upon my worst enemy.
So if you’ve made it this far, you know it really couldn’t get much worse for me as a fan. I love sports way too much to stop watching. But I gotta admit the truth and that is none of my teams are winning a championship anytime soon.